Differences
by Smartfood
Summary: Tali waits for Shepard in the Citadel and ruminates on her pre and post-Shepard life.


I apologize profusely for my absence. I feel like a led people on by writing the beginning of a story and never finishing it. I won't make excuses, but I will return and complete what I abandoned. I just had to get this story out of my head.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Mass Effect_ nor do I profit monetarily from this story.

* * *

><p>Tali entered the shopping district of the rebuilt Citadel looking for Shepard. He had left to check in with Captain Anderson and catch up on the most recent scandals with the Council. She walked over to the rapid transit stop and stared out into the vast space beyond. The expanse was always wonderful despite her people's entrapment in that immensity. She had once dreamt of nothing, but escaping to a world of terra firma.<p>

The Quarians spouted many ideals of teamwork and self-sacrifice, but as children Tali never had a single peer that did not go through a phase of dreaming of escape. On other worlds children dreamt of becoming space pilots and exploring the cosmos; within the Migrant Fleet they secretly dreamt of becoming farmers, miners, and florists. These dreams would surely sound absurd to any other culture and perhaps this was just another illustration of the friction between the Quarians and the rest of the universe.

Ironically, while Tali had dreamt of living the life of a land-dweller, with Shepard she had lived out the dreams of most non-Quarian children. She had traveled to the farthest reaches of space and survived the Omega-4 relay. She had become a famous hero and a symbol of strength. She had done it all and even found a man along the way. Even still she often dreamt of life in the world where her feet did not clack metallically across the ground and the slightest cough or sneeze would not be a sign of serious illness.

Shepard had brought her into a world even she had never imagined possible while in the Migrant Fleet, but even he did not understand the ache Quarians felt for a natural life; not that they gave many others the chance to see that kind of weakness. Their desperation was likely their most closely guarded secret.

Tali often felt that others took terrestrial life for granted. Their inability to remove themselves from their suits even on their returned homeworld only added insult to the injuries from the Geth. The Quarians would never admit their weaknesses, but often in private these grievances were furtively discussed. As dissatisfied as many were within the Flotilla, Tali's status as an Admiral's daughter left her inaccessible to others as a child.

Her distress at being trapped and adrift not only in space, but within the suit that had essentially taken over her body could never be shared. The expectations of the Admiralty Board and their families were high. As a result, Tali was often alone in her thoughts, throwing herself into the Quarian pastime of high tech tinkering.

Few partook in the secret complaints with Tali for fear of being exposed to the Admiralty Board and punished for their dissent. Tali remembered one friend she had aboard the Rayya, Cor'Danna nar Rayya. As she looked out into the spotted darkness of space, she wondered where he was today. She had not seen nor thought of him since she left for her Pilgrimage. It felt like a lifetime ago.

After meeting Shepard and joining his crew her thoughts centered on destroying Saren and finding a proper prize to return to the Migrant Fleet. The time between Shepard's death and his rebirth had been a difficult adjustment. His death marked when she became a woman and a full member of the Migrant Fleet. On her pilgrimage she experienced a freedom that made life within the walls of the Flotilla difficult. She still believed in the mantra of the fleet, but her dreams still drifted back to the space roving adventures with Shepard.

Her first encounter with the reborn Shepard was jarring to say the least. She had been pleased to explore Freedom's Progress for the adventure despite her sympathy for the dead and of course where there is adventure, there is Shepard; supposedly dead or not. On Haestrom he had rescued her from more than just the impending Geth troops. She may have been one of the most brilliant Quarian machinists, but she felt poorly suited to Flotilla life.

When she joined up with Shepard's crew again her blood rushed and life returned to her body. The experiences with her father had unfortunately reminded her of the many bad parts of their relationship, but Shepard stood by her decision to protect him even in death. Of course the anger he showed to Admiralty Board that kept her in the Migrant Fleet had awakened other feelings inside of her.

Tali was never one to enter something half-heartedly and dove head first into her relationship with Shepard. The Quarians, while secretive about the activities of the Migrant Fleet, were open and passionate as their confinement in their suits had forced them to be. There were few options for self-expression and verbal communication became all the more important. The emotional openness of the Quarians was another complex difference that set them apart from other species.

Tali blushed as she remembered the downside to this talkative Quarian nature when she approached the commander before the trip through the Omega-4 relay. Her ability to become worked up about something that occurred frequently within the Flotilla only embarrassed her further. She always concerned about what Shepard was thinking and feeling.

She recognized that other species did not live in a world of constant discussion and as a result she found herself constantly curious and concerned about what went on in the commander's head. Through their many adventures (and for the sake of her own sanity) she had concluded that Shepard's thoughts were generally benevolent when they were about her.

Suddenly, Tali turned placing her hand upon the weapon strapped to her hip. Her body reacted faster than her mind as she noticed the hand on her shoulder. At first she expected Shepard, but realized that hand belonged to a Quarian she did not recognize.

"Who are you?" she said projecting the most vicious tone she could. Her time with Shepard while making her immensely happy had not helped her attitude.

"Are you Tali'Zorah vas Normandy?" the Quarian asked. Assuming he needed some kind of help or autograph Tali responded, "If I am, what would you want from her?"

"We knew each other long ago before she became the famous universe saving space traveller that was too good to speak to an old friend. I'm Cor'Danna vas Rayya."

"Cor'Danna?" Tali said with increasing excitement. "I haven't seen you since I left for my pilgrimage. I did not recognize you."

"I don't blame you. With so many years and suit changes since we have last seen each other it is inevitable to lose some data and names" he said with obvious amusement.

"I have no excuse since you recognized me"

"The entire galaxy knows you, Tali'Zorah. I would have had to live beneath a malfunctioning space engine and a clogged air filter to miss you on the news" he stated amicably.

The two chatted about everything from their grade school holo-instructor to Cor'Danna's perpetually troubled cousin working in a specialty dance bar.

"I must ask, Cor, why are you here?" Tali said as they found a secluded bench in the busy ward.

"I'm here as part of a diplomatic assembly sent to talk with the Council about the return of Quarian representation. It is mainly thanks to you that I am here. With your involvement with Commander Shepard and human influence on the Council we may actually have a chance" Cor'Danna stated with clear admiration.

"I suppose I should not be surprised. I truly hope that the Council will see the logic of this move. They have made such terrible decisions in the past" Tali said resentfully.

"No one thought that we would get our homeworld back, but you accomplished this for us. A seat on the council really pales in comparison," he said placing his hand on Tali's. Her fiery temper did begin to cool.

During this encounter, Shepard had entered the shopping district looking for Tali. He found her talking with a Quarian male. The infamous temper of Commander Shepard began to flare. He walked authoritatively over to the bench as the Quarian man placed his hand on Tali's. As he approached the pair he realized that in his hast he hadn't prepared for what to say. Thankfully, the always talkative Tali made the first move.

"Shepard," she said attempting to mask some of the excitement she felt whenever he entered a room, "I was waiting for you." She looped an arm through his. Shepard smirked, pulling her arm closer.

"Hello, Commander Shepard, I am Cor'Danna vas Rayya. Tali and I were once very good friends," he stated.

Shepard said nothing in return. He nodded his head slightly to signal that he heard the Quarian and there was no suit malfunction.

"Tali, it was wonderful to see you. It is nearly time for our meeting with the Council. I very much wish to speak to you again," Cor said sending his information to her omni-tool.

"Shepard, it was an honor to meet you." Cor'Danna walked away leaving Tali and the commander alone in the secluded corner.

"We knew each other aboard the Rayya," Tali said before Shepard could even ask. Sometimes her talkative nature really did avoid awkward moments.

"Well what's he doing here?" Shepard pointedly asked.

"He's seeking to have the council return the Quarian seat"

"Well I wish him good luck and hope that he can make it home soon," he responded.

"Come now, Shepard, surely that isn't jealousy I hear in your voice?" Tali mocked.

Shepard knew it was pointless to deny how he felt seeing Tali with another man. In his mind a Quarian man was somehow more threatening. There were aspects of Tali and the Quarian life that Shepard felt he would never understand. In times of self-doubt he often wondered if that inability to relate would drive them apart and more specifically drive Tali into the arms of someone like Cor'Danna vas Rayya. Shepard would rather deal with the Collectors or find a reborn Saren than deal with losing Tali.

As Shepards face dropped into a frown that even Tali could recognize, she wrapped her arms around his waist, placed her head on his shoulder.

"I love you, Shepard."

Shepard could not stop the smile that split across his scarred face. In the tumult of protecting the galaxy, Shepard realized they had never taken the time to say the words. He had always just assumed that was how they felt for one another. Action had always been their primary way of dealing with events. There was never time for discussion when Sovereign was breathing down your neck. Even so, he could not help but feel immense security in the words.

"I love you, Tali."

Tali pulled away and took Shepard's hand and they silently walked through the Citadel. Tali thought of the many events that had happened between her friendship with Cor'Danna and the here and now with Shepard. Such a short period of time to the colossal and apathetic universe, but it was her entire existence. Aboard the Normandy she became more than just a Quarian and with Shepard she had become more than just a suit. Although Shepard could not see it, he knew that she was smiling.


End file.
